"....there are too many people in the world who tell you to 'find your bliss,'
and in the same breath tell you that you can only have one.
I want to dance until my feet cannot hold me. But I also want everything.
And I don't see why I shouldn't have it...""
...Oh, my. When you begin by quoting yourself, you are either amazingly arrogant...or in trouble. I would say I am hoping for the latter...but than I would be hoping for trouble.
...(Perhaps I am hoping for a good sort of trouble). :)
It has been exactly a year since I have written.
I did not know that until I looked up just now. Seems appropriate.
It is, then, more than a year since my travels ended. And here I am, in Portland, again. So much has happened since I tried to leave the country and run away.
It was, indeed, a running away of sorts. I wanted it to last much longer; wanted to be like all the heroines and heroes in the books I read; to take up my penny whistle, a sack, some shoes, and just walk...singing all the way "Heigh-ho! Nobody home..." But I wasn't. I didn't so much as play a note, though I DID sing to myself often when I was afraid.
To seek an adventure is one thing; to be taken in, lustily, by the call of the open road... To run from what you do not want is quite another matter. It will surprise you wherever you land; by sea, land, or sky, it makes no matter: wherever you go, there you are.
And you cannot run from yourself.
**Forgive me if this is a bit self-indulgent or philosophical tea-house of me: the hour is late (or early, rather) and I tend to lean towards an almost drunken state when I become this tired, so forgive me. I am sure you will.**
In any case, here I am. A year later, drawn to the computer.
I am filled again with questions.
(Usually when I have questions, the answers cannot simply be found or sought, because the answers are already in my head...or other various extremities. But I do not know them, until I begin to speak).
So here I am...writing again. A step away from actual speech, but hopefully helpful, nonetheless.
So much has happened, internally as well as ex...
...and so, I begin again. The questions before me now lie with the direction I choose to take...
But for now, it is time to sleep.
Until the morrow...
~ Genevieve
1.jpg)
Posts
